Thursday, July 29, 2010

Thankful Thursday!!

So this was a very exciting day for me. I have been so down and frustrated with my body for two major reasons. One, because I got weighed at the OB office a couple of weeks ago and I am the heaviest I have ever been. I hate my picture taken and get so discouraged seeing myself in photos. I need to lose this weight! And second, because my body seems to be stalled on the ovulation front. I have been using ovulation tests for weeks now and just when I think its starting to get close and they are dark, then it gets light again. My temps have been ALL over the place, which is not the norm for me neither. So I called my OB on Monday to see if she could give me medication to help this cycle along since after AF gets here, I am scheduling my HSG and hopefully if all is clear, to start trying again. She agreed to let me get something if I hadn't gotten my period by the weekend and if I take a HPT and its negative. Well I already know I am not pregnant! I haven't even O'd yet!!! But today was a good day....

YAY, a positive OPK finally!!!

I am going to call my OB tomorrow and let her know about this. I think I will see what happens with my temps over the weekend. Hopefully my body isn't faking me out!! I would love not to need the Provera :-) Now just to work on the weight loss....

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Rough Day Today....

The past few days, I have noticed myself becoming more and more sad. I think about my two angels everyday... and lately, its been more often. Maybe because our first angel should be turning 1 next month. Or maybe because right now, my body isn't working the way I want it to and we are at a stand-still with TTC. Whatever the reason, I surely need to snap out of this "funk" that I am in. There is a quote that I got in an e-mail at work that is really sticking with me....

"When God takes something from your grasp, He is not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better."

On one hand, this gives me hope that what was taken from me wasn't for nothing, and that one day we will have our baby in our arms. On the other hand, what was so wrong with my angels that God took them away... in my eyes, there was nothing BETTER than them. Today, for the first time in a couple months, I went in the the "baby room." When I lost the second baby, I put everything baby-related in the closet. I couldn't open the door and see everything. I opening the closet door and the tears started flooding my eyes. I held a couple of the outfits we had bought.

Now I am at work, and all I can think about is how much I miss my babies and how cruel the world is for taking something so precious from me.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Appointment Info

So I had my f/u appt from my ectopic m/c today. My OB says everything is looking great and normal. After this cycle is over, I am to call the office and set up an appt for my HSG test. And it the results show that everything is good, we can start TTC again. If not, then we deal with it. I am really hoping that everything will be great. Now I am in a rush to O and get AF here so we can get this show on the road, per say!

I didn't write much last week since I was barely home. Brian and I went to Chicago last Tues night through Thurs afternoon. I had seminars for work, so he took some vacation time and came with me. It was nice to get away, and enjoy the city. I was thankful to get home and sleep in my own bed though. Then we turned around and had a weekend up north with Brian's family. It was our niece's 1st birthday party Saturday. Here is a pic of her with her cake.....

Thank you to all of those who have helped me get through this journey so far. I couldn't have done it without you! I am so blessed to have such wonderful family and friends in my life.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Thankful Thursday

This week has been so crazy at work, and I am so thankful that today is my last day before a nice three day weekend with my husband. And next week we will be in Chicago for a seminar for work. Brian took time off to come with me! It will be so nice to get away from the day-to-day stuff and be able to relax and have a good time together. I have such awesome neighbors that will be taking care of our yellow lab, Addison, for the couple of days that we are gone. I am sure she will LOVE playing with their two dogs!

I wanted to take a second to say thank you to those who have opened up their lives and hearts to me since joining the Bump. Its amazing how close you can feel to women you have never met. You all are going to be wonderful moms someday and am truly blessed to know you!

I wish you all a safe and happy July 4th weekend! Our country, even with its problems, is wonderful and I am so honored to call myself an American! God bless!!