Post of Congratulations!

Throughout my TTC journey, I have been so blessed for the friends I have made from the Bump website. Women that have struggled, hoped, cried, and laughed with me. I honestly don't think I could have made it through the past couple of years without each and every one of you! I joke to Brian sometimes that I feel like "Good Luck Chuck," in the affect that most of the women I have grown close to have gotten pregnant. One lives in Utah and has the most adorable little boy! One lives in Ohio (which there have been some rivalries there when it comes to sports) and her little girl is due next month. One lives in South Carolina and a little boy that makes me smile every time I see new pictures posted on her Facebook page. Another, I met after my last loss and she has been awesome! Her little girl is due in the next couple of months. My girl, Kelly is in NJ and just found out she is having a little boy in August! I had planned on meeting her this May, but unfortunately, I don't have the $$ to go. Kel and I also have a mutual friend, Katy, who has been awesomely supportive! She just found out last week that she'd expecting her Christmas baby!!! So to all of you, CONGRATULATIONS!!! And thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

There are other ladies that I have met, who are still going through this TTC roller coaster ride with me. I am so thankful for your support, confidence (even when I don't have any left), and friendship! I hope that my "good luck" brings each one of you your BFP soon!

Away with my BBT

Well AF showed her lovely face a few days ago. I am thrilled that I O'd on my own, but just worried that it could be because I still have Clomid in my system. Hoping that's not the case. I decided (with Brian's help) to put the BBT down and not temp this cycle. I thought I could go completely cold turkey and not use opks either, but I think I would go nuts wondering IF I have O'd or not. And considering I have don't get false + opks (::knocks on wood::), that I feel ok with just going off my CM pattern and opks. I have noticed already that I sleep better not having to worry about temping in the morning.

I also started Metformin last week, and it was a rough first few days on it. I knew there could/would be GI upset, but not what I expected. I increased the dose to 1000mg this week, and seems to be going ok so far. From what I have read/heard, the jump from 1000 to 1500 is the worst. I might just do 1000mg for a couple of weeks to make sure my system is used to it before increasing it again. I really do hope this helps with my weight. I have been bad since my birthday last weekend, and REALLY need to get back into my routine of eating better and working out. I even posted two song lyrics I like on my work wall to give me the confidence to keep going..... here they are....

Sugarland, "Little Miss"

Little Miss Down On Love

Little Miss I give Up

Little Miss I'll Get Tough

Don't you worry 'bout me anymore

Little Miss Checkered Dress

Little Miss One Big Mess
Little Miss I'll Take Less

When I Always Give So Much More

It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win

It's alright, it's alright, it's alright

It'll be alright again

It'll be alright again, I'm okay

It'll be alright again, I'm okay

(Okay)

It'll be alright again, I'm okay

Linkin Park "Iridescent"

When you were standing in the wake of devastation

when you were waiting on the edge of the unknown

with the cataclysm raining down, insides crying save me now

you were there and possibly alone.

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation

you build up hope, but failure's all you've known

remember all the sadness and frustration

and let it go, let it go.

And in the burst of light that blinded every angel

as if the sky had blown the heavens into stars

you felt the gravity of temper grace falling into empty space

no one there to catch you in their arms

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation

you build up hope, but failure's all you've known

remember all the sadness and frustration

and let it go, let it go.

I am really looking forward to this cycle and seeing if we can still have our 2011 baby. Would certainly be a Christmas blessing come true!

What a Week!

This past week has been quite a roller coaster of emotions for me. I had my OB appt on Tuesday, and she was very impressed with my weight loss so far (16.6 lbs). She ordered some labs to see where my glucose levels are, and also ordered a SA for Brian. He was less than thrilled when I told him about that. I received my results, and everything is in normal range except my HDL is a little low, and LDL a little high. So I need to keep working on eating right and working out more.

The whole week, I had been getting so close to + opks, it was driving me nuts. By Friday, I really felt defeated and that I needed to just stop for a while. I posted on TB that I was taking a bump break. The ladies were so sweet and supportive, it brought tears to my eyes. I think I just needed to remind myself why I am doing all of this, and to get myself back "into" TTC again.

During Thursdays acupuncture appt, I told her that I was on day 15 of my cycle and still no sign of O yet. She added more needles I noticed, and also used a heat lamp over my abdomen. I really love acupuncture!!! Each time I get more relaxed, and fall asleep a little longer. Saturday morning, I got up for work. I told Brian that maybe we should hold off on intercourse over this weekend so that we can get the SA out of the way Monday morning (since you have to abstain for 72 hours prior). I finished getting ready for work, and left.

I decided to bring my digital opks with me to work because the "almost +" cheapies were driving me nuts! I had taken one when I got up, and it was negative. Oh, how I HATE seeing that empty circle. I decided to test again around 9:15, using both the digital and cheapie. I about cried when the little smiley face appeared. I was shaking. I couldn't believe it!!! On CD 16, I got a + opk without the use of Clomid!!! This is the earliest I have gotten one without medication! So obviously, we had to break the no-sex rule this weekend, lol. I am truly thankful that it seems like my body may be working on it's own! Only time will tell now as to what this cycle will end like. Sure would be a nice birthday present! Plus, Cheri22 would have another point in the "being right" column! Thanks for reading my babbling!!!

New Plan....

Well since my OB will only do a maximum of 3 clomid cycles, and AF showed this morning with a HUGE temp drop, it's on to the next step. I have an OB appt on February 15th at 10:30 to discuss what's next. More than likely, it will be Femara and Metformin. So this cycle I am going to try and "relax" more, not worried about drinking pom juice or green tea. I thought about not temping, but I think I should since then I might have a better idea on what's going on at my appt. I am curious if the clomid helped "regulate" my cycles now. I just hope I O earlier than later. Would be awesome to be testing around my birthday!!!

Thank you to all of you who read this. I am sure most of it is repeats of what I talk about on the boards, but it has really helped me deal with this journey. I never could have dreamt that after 2 years, I would be where I am at. It makes keeping faith difficult sometimes. I have wanted to give up more than once.Thanks to those who have given me strength and encouragement to push on! Its means so much to me!!!

Stylish Blogger Award

Two of my fellow blogger friends have nominated me for this award. I am truly touched and am so glad that people actually take the time to read my ranting and complaining. You are some brave souls, lol. Here are the Seven Random Things about me....

1.) My biggest fear is not spiders, or flying, or even heights (though I hate this)..... its failure. I guess I always have held myself to a high standard. Not because my family or how I grew up. I just always felt that if something is worth doing, then it's worth doing to your best ability. And I think that's why my TTC road has been so tough on me. I have no control over it.

2.)  I have never been drunk. I have been to the point of being buzzed and a little tipsy, but never wasted. I think that's because I am not one to lose control, especially over my actions and words.

3.) I was raised most of my life by a single mom. They divorced when I was 6, and my dad was not a huge role-player in my life. He lived within 25 miles of me most of my life, but he never saw a chorus concert, school play, prom, or graduation. My mom is the strongest person I have ever known. She is the reason I am who I am today!

4.) I have worked in long-term care for over 10 years. I started as a dishwasher at a nursing home. Worked my way up to a cook, went to technical college, and am now a dietary manager.

5.) I can be stubborn. When I get mad, I just want to be left alone. My husband is still learning that about me. He's more of the "let's talk it out" kind of guy. Doesn't always work the best during arguments.

6.) Brian and I looked at over 40 houses before we found the one we bought. We have very different "must-haves" when it came to looking for our house. So it took a very long time to find one that suited both of our needs.

7.) I have never been out of the United States. I have barely traveled to other states. I want to travel to Ireland in my lifetime!

Thank you to the ladies that nominated me. I will do my best to return the favor to 7 other awesome bloggers.

Chronicles of a Supermom
dear diary, it's me, Katy
Life after Aidan Christopher
Love and Lattes
Malcolm Baby
My Angel Aurora Rose
Winter Baby

Will 3rd Time Be the Charm?!?!

I guess only time will tell on that question. O has been confirmed and now the wait starts. Things done differently this time are: increase dose of Clomid, preseed again, Mucinex to help CM since the higher dose seemed to dry things up, and pineapple core after O. There is a website called Cheri22.com where your fortune can be read (entertainment only) and can be told things about future children. I decided to try it, since hey, its only $10! I received my reading Friday. Per Cheri22, I will have a baby girl, and she sees FEB, which could mean birth month, conceive month, or find out month! Ironically, my test date for this cycle per FF is Feb 2nd! It would be awesome if she was "right." The waiting part stinks, but I have an easier time with it knowing I O'd and have the chance of getting KU. If this doesn't work, then its off to the OB to discuss Metformin and Femara. And since I won't get in to see her until the next cycle were to start, I am assuming the next cycle would be unmedicated.

And on a happy side note, the Packers won the NFC Championship today and are headed to the Super Bowl!

Second Round a Bust

Well, as you can tell from the title, Clomid did not work this cycle..... well I O'd, just not resulting in a pregnancy. I called my OB this morning and talked about the plan ahead. Her first comment is that she only does Clomid for up to THREE cycles.... which shocked me. Most of the ladies I read about on the bump are on it for 4-5-6 months..... So she decided to up my dose from 50mg to 100mg this time around. If I do not get KU, then I am to make an appt to discuss whats next. She mentioned two medications that could work; Metformin and Femara. I have seen ladies charts with both of these meds listed. It gives me hope that if the Clomid does not work, there might still be something that will help. Of course, her main focus is still for me to continue to lose weight. I am sitting at 11 lbs lost, since adding 2 over the holidays. So its back to the strict diet. I am also looking into buying the Zumba Fitness for the Wii. I heard its really good!!! So we shall see what happens. Not the way I wanted to start 2011, but hoping for the best!

Yesterday would have been my due date with Angel #2. Mommy loves you baby!!!