Friday, October 15, 2010

Plan for Moving Forward as We Look Back....

I still have no progress on the ovulation front, so I called my OB's office. I have an appt scheduled for Oct 26th to discuss Provera (if I haven't O'd by my appt) and starting Clomid next cycle. This cycle has been so stressful, not only because my body is delayed, but with work as well. Once I got off the phone with the OB nurse, I felt such relief. We have a plan now. And that makes the negative opk tests that much more tolerable. Let me tell you, I have gone through so many this cycle already, I should invest in their companies. But I have backed off and am only taking 1 a day from now on. I am still temping and if I happen to get a +opk then we will still try.

Now to the sad. Today is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. It just so happens that Brian and I are both off today. It's nice having him home with me on a day like today. I think of my angels every day as I put on my necklace with their birthstones on it. I was their mom the moment those two pink lines came up on the test. And the love we felt for them will never fade away. To my babies, your Mommy and Daddy love you so much. We never wanted anything more than we wanted you. Even though we never held you, we loved you. Even though we never seen you on an u/s, we saw you in our dreams. And even though we never heard your heart beating, we hope you felt the love we had for you from the very beginning.

To those that have lost, I am truly sorry. The pain never goes away. And we will never forget. In honor of those babies gone too soon......

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